


Bits and Pieces

by MissBegottenLit (SoulTinkerer)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 18:12:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15515667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulTinkerer/pseuds/MissBegottenLit
Summary: Thor meets a new nemesis: the automated checkers at Wal-Mart.





	Bits and Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to get back into writing every day, and this was what I came up with today. It's a bunch of nonsense :)

When Thor had learned it was possible to personalize ringtones, Tony had rolled his eyes. So much for Asgardian technological superiority.

When Thor asked Tony to set his ringtone to Tubthumping, he thought it was hilarious. So much so, that now every time Thor called him, the less-than-dulcet tones of Chumbawamba echoed throughout his workshop.

When Thor called Tony nine times in a single day, he was seriously regretting even giving the big lug a phone in the first place. He answered the call with a heavy sigh and rubbed at his temples, trying to stave off the headache he knew was on its way.

“Stark, I am in need of your assistance.”

“Sure thing, Rapunzel, what’s up?” He kept working away at the new Iron Legion designs, devoting only about 10% of his concentration on Thor. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the guy. Only that he had just set a firm limit on the number of calls he’d take in one day, and that number was maybe one and a half.

“Are you well acquainted with the metal shop-keepers?”

Luckily, Tony had been listening to Thor-Speak for long enough to know what he was talking about. “The automated checkers? Like the ones in Wal-Mart? Please tell me you didn’t go to Wal-Mart.”

“I did. I was most intrigued by the prospect of a market that sold only walls. You can imagine my disappointment when I realized the truth.”

“Probably a good thing, honestly, you’ve already broken enough of _my_ walls. I can’t imagine the bill if you and Mjolnir broke…” he stopped in sudden realization. “What did you do to the automated checker?”

“While searching for the walls, I found some fascinating baubles made in the likenesses of the Avengers. They are most agreeable and nod when you speak to them.”

Bobbleheads. He’d found Avengers bobbleheads at Wal-Mart.

“But when I went to purchase them, the metal-shopkeeper insisted there was an unexpected item in the bagging area. This was a black and bitter lie. The Allspeak was of no use to me here, for when I asked the shopkeeper if it was slighting the honor of Odinson and Asgard, it merely repeated its vile insult. I admit I handled the situation with ill-grace, but each word it uttered was slander against me.”

Tony sighed. He knew where this was going. “Then what happened?”

“The metal-shopkeeper became acquainted with mighty Mjolnir!” Thor proclaimed. “Several times.”

“Well, just have them send me the bill,” Tony said. “I’ll take care of it.” If having to pay for a hunk of machinery he could have designed in his sleep was the worst part of his day, he’d have to call that a win. He turned his attention back to the schematics projected before him. He needed to make them lighter. They were wasting too much energy getting from place to place.

“What of the Agreeable Avengers?”

“Yeah, sure, those too. We’ll put them on a cake or something.” He could cut down on their overall size. Would the general public be for or against three feet tall robot-children being used as cannon fodder?

“And some pastries.”

“Whatever you want, pal.”

“You are a true friend, Stark. I will return to the Tower with my spoils of war soon.”

 

*

 

Later, when Tony saw Thor had spent over $1000 of his money on PopTarts, he couldn’t really be angry. After all, Thor did share. He gave Tony a box of strawberry PopTarts with an IronMan bobblehead taped to the top, and that was pretty rock & roll.


End file.
